Fear, Greed, and Artificial Eyelashes

Springtime and the courting begins. Sometimes it is a lovely sight. Western Grebes “skate” across the water in pairs - a sight to behold. Pairs of Canada geese, with the male carefully watching over his bride prevent any “wanna-be” suitors from stealing her away. Robins that begin to sing their hearts out at 4 am – outside my bedroom window.  

Sometimes all this courting can become brutal. Usually male birds fight with each other to win over a particular female. She pretends to ignore the battle – while out of the corner of her eye, she is secretly cheering for the stronger male to win.

This morning I saw something I’d never seen before. Looking out a window, it appeared a female cardinal had broken a wing and was fluttering around on the grass. A male cardinal was attentive to her plight. But as I watched, the flurry of feathers was two female cardinals fighting with each other – presumably to drive away the other female and claim the male cardinal for herself.

Who says it is always males who fight with each other for territory and mates. The men competing with each other while women tend the children and pay careful attention to their pots over the fire. Sad to say, women have their own wars as well for dominance and "territory".

This morning's paper had a long article about artificial eyelashes – (for women, of course)! One line caught my attention: the claim that such lashes enhance a woman’s femininity. What? Are women supposed to hide who they really are behind some kind of allure in order to attract men? Isn't who they are deep inside enough?

After finishing reading the paper, I sat down to my computer. Since my email address does not indicate whether I am a girl or a boy, I get an interesting selection of spammed email. Breast augmentation and low-T. Russian women, who can hardly wait for me to click on their site and meet me. Married women looking for affairs. And in the evening, there are those TV ads for long- lasting erections – delivered by women with purring, seductive voices.

After I cleaned out my spammed email, I went to serious news. Refugees fleeing the devastation of war. Russian jets dive-bombing American military ships in international waters. Religious wars in India where Hindus are attacking Muslims. The increasing phobia toward Islam in this country.

Underlying so much of these seeming disparate items are fear of the other and territorialism.  Issues among humans that go back millennia. Like the pair of female cardinals fighting over one male. Perhaps these female cardinals should invest in artificial some-things to make themselves more alluring! Artificial eyelashes?

I don’t think I ever made eyes at my husband. After all these years, he still tells me I am beautiful. And I tell him that he is one handsome dude. We fell in love as we grew up together. When we married, we promised to stay together through “better or worse.” As anyone who is married will tell you, marriage is tough. Honeymoons do not last long. But I wouldn’t trade him off for anything.

We have both grown since in naiveté we promised ourselves to each other. Now we are figuring out how to grow old together. With bodies that bear little resemblance to younger days when we climbed mountain trails and slept under the stars in the wilderness. I don’t think artificial eyelashes fluttering in his direction or medications for him could enhance  the bond between us!

As for the rest of the world – the theory is that humanity has been evolving into something better. Some days I wonder when I read the news, which is far more brutal than two female cardinal fighting on my front lawn. But then a flicker of hope inside reminds me of kind deeds done without any expectation of return, friendships and my precious family. The goodness of people surrounds me when I pay attention.

A few years ago, I went with a group to Ireland where we visited ancient sites in the Republic of Ireland, the stuff of legends. We learned something of the Irish fight for independence from Great Britain. However, what sticks most in my mind was our time in Northern Ireland.  It was a year after the Peace Accord was signed, signifying the end of the Troubles.  The driver of our small buus (as he called it) had never been in Northern Ireland – where a few miles translated into a huge distance for him. We stood at the gates of Stormont, the parliament building where the Accord was signed.  And our 65 year-old driver wept.

We drove down a street in Belfast and slowed just enough to allow a highly-ranked police constable to board. He talked with us about the Troubles – while we were followed by an unmarked police car for our safety. We saw barbed wire scanning towers and still-divided Catholic and Protestant neighborhoods.

Later, a former IRA fighter, who had turned to peaceful means to work with young people, talked with us from his perspective about the terrible times that pitted people against each other. When we re-boarded our small bus to return to the Republic of Ireland, small boys threw stones at us – because our license plates identified us as coming from the other Ireland.  

Slowly these two countries have worked to heal from the Troubles that took too many lives. They give us a model to construct our own ways to make peace and to learn to live together with people who are different from us.

This presidential campaign has dug deep into peoples’ psyches to mine fear and hatred. May we learn from this time to find better ways to improve the lives of people, rather  than living out our own version of the Troubles.

And those artificial eyelashes? You guessed right. They are not on my shopping list. I do not need to pretend to be someone other than who I am.